What Do You See?

Humans have always desired to see themselves. Throughout history, we’ve searched for our reflection in still water, polished obsidian, copper, bronze, tin, and finally, in the 18th and 19th centuries: glass.

But why the obsession?

The answer is simple: we care what others think. Whether it’s a quick glance in the mirror before a grocery run or extra effort before a big meeting—if we can see what others would see, we can, to some extent, control how they perceive us.

No one argues with a physical mirror about what it reflects. Mirrors are indifferent. They don’t judge, critique, or flatter—they simply reflect.

Mirrors show you what’s on the outside, but marriage, having been designed by God, has the power to reflect what’s inside. The friction comes when we don’t like what we see—our flaws, our hidden tempers, and our selfishness. Often, we simply blame the mirror.

We might tell ourselves, “I’m only reacting this way because you’re being critical,” but the truth is often deeper: Marriage doesn’t create our flaws; it simply reveals them.

It’s important to remember that just as we aren’t perfect, our spouse is also an imperfect person and may not always reflect our flaws gently or in the way we’d like. However, our reaction to what they reveal is the ultimate test of our spiritual maturity.

A Christ-centered partnership will inevitably bring our weaknesses into view—not to shame us, but to refine us.

The real question is, what will we do when our reflection isn’t what we expected?